Will Shipley notes that

…we need a nicer term than “bastard” for a child born out-of-wedlock. I suggest “palin.”

I couldn’t agree more. Not sure it is actually *nicer* though.

Jared Earle replied: @wilshipley Not quite: A “Palin” is a child *conceived* out of wedlock but born within wedlock to the smell of gun oil and confetti.